Our last entry had us heading back north from a vacation in
the American Southwest way back in March. So what happened between then and now
– early December 2022?
To put it simply – a lot!
BUT there was a big shadow hanging low that needs to be addressed before
moving on to the fun stuff. I had been
pushing against feeling depressed for some time likely going back to being
critically ill in January of 2020. The
Covid pandemic and the disruptions of life associated with it both physically and
socially didn’t help at all. In the end
the factor I couldn’t seem to mentally overcome without help was becoming
disabled.
I will try to lead through the journey with a reminder that
back in 2005 or thereabouts I had a benign tumor grow quit large in my lower
spine. The good news was that it was
removed without obvious damage to the nerves and my very real fear of being paralyzed
did not come to be. I have had residual
pain in my legs from the nerves that were likely damaged but I learned to live
with it and have even walked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon since that time.
Physically what has been happening since
the original surgery is that my spinal canal has been continuing to “heal”
around the original surgical site and has basically closed off to the point
where the spinal nerves were once again being impinged upon. If you follow the
photo essay you will note that as time moved forward, really increasing
dramatically about the time of our trip to the southwest (when I took a “bucket
list” steam train ride to the south rim of the Grand Canyon but ended up being
unable to do much except hobble to a bench and sit and look out at some of the
most amazing scenery in the world before I hobbled back to wait for the train to
return me to where Clarice, Jarvis and our Airstream waited), I went from using
walking poles to assist me walking to NEEDING to use walking poles, to being able
to use walking poles rather than a walker only when I had recently had a
steroid injection into my spine to being only about to walk less than a block
with a walker.
I started seeking treatment for my back in March or April and finally was able to go to the spine clinic in Seattle in April. The physician and I agreed to try non-surgical approached (drugs and physical therapy) which in the long run did not work. I was only able to get short term relief with steroid injections which worked very well but only for about a month at a time. It wasn’t until September 29th that I was able to get approved for and get an appointment for an outpatient laminectomy where bone fragments and sections were removed from my back in order to allow the nerves to have room to function as they should. Initially there was a LOT of nerve/leg pain as the nerves and muscles that had been malfunctioning for years (?) found themselves again having normal impulses. The very very good news is that while I had hoped to go back to my baseline function (some ongoing chronic pain), my pain is 95% gone! As of this writing I am still on a 10# weight lifting limit and am in the early stages of physical therapy to retrain my muscle habits to protect my back and to use healthy pathways rather than the survival pathways that had developed over time. The first comment Clarice made was that she hadn’t seen me stand up straight in years and I immediately noticed that I didn’t feel like I was dragging my lower legs along when I walked.
So as I started to say a couple
of paragraphs ago, being disabled (requiring a walker to walk anywhere , even
around the house) and feeling like I wasn’t getting anywhere with a treatment led
me to send this rather desperate email to my PCP:
June 30 Dr.: Please consider ordering an antidepressant
for me. I am finding that after a day of
pain anytime I walk and feeling like there is no hope for it to end, I go to
bed exhausted and depressed most nights.
I hate to say it but I feel like I am getting passed from specialist to
specialist with no one willing to say, “live with it – we have nothing to offer
you”. At this point I am waiting for an
EMG (earliest appointment is August) and then ???? Thanks Norman
My PCP responded very quickly and
ordered me medication and made sure his staff followed up with me. The medication was very helpful and now that
my pain is gone I have halved my dose planning to stop once the winter solstice
is a way behind us (It has also been suggested that I have a longstanding touch
of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and so I don’t want to push my luck –
having energy and a positive outlook is a nice thing after the darkness. I add this section not to ask for sympathy
but to remind readers that help is available but sometimes we need to ask for
it.
BUT YES! We did have some good times too!
One of our big goals was to take
Hyacinth our Albin 25 micro trawler up the Inside Passage come early
summer. We have made this trip before in
a 25 ft boat and of course to our wonderful adventure north in Salish Aire when
we lived on her. The boat now has a canvas cover, new electronics, new heating
and cooking equipment, new refrigeration, cleaned and checked fuel and engine
systems, new upper deck paint, and is cleaned and buffed to Clarice’s
satisfaction.
One fun thing that has come about
has been our periodic Boondockers.com visitors.
Boondockers.com is an on-line “club” where RV owners make space
available on their property for other RV owners to stay and virtually no cost. When private and public camping sites can run
from $40 -$75 per night, this system is really helpful for those of us who try to
travel on the cheap. We have yet to stay at a Boondockers.com site but to get a
free membership we decided to offer our little gravel driveway pad as a listing
thinking that not a lot of folks would be interested in stopping here. Instead “Lacey Rest”, as we are known, has
been quite popular with people who need a place to recharge (emotionally and
literally as we offer a power outlet to plug in to) for a day or two while
heading north or south along interstate 5.
The unexpected benefit is that while I am bound by disability to be
home, I can get to visit with new people with similar interests who come to us.
Also before surgery (BS) we were able to take Hyacinth the grand-daughter camping with us a couple of times including once with Michelle our sort-of-God-grand-daughter. These outing in our Airstream serve to lift our spirits wonderfully and help us appreciate the kids while we can.
After surgery (AS) we were able to keep our previously made plans to visit our daughter and her family in Ontario Canada where the fall colors were going strong. This was a wonderful week long visit and included a tour of a long retired Niagara Falls power plant which includes access to the bottom of the falls through the no longer used outlet tunnel that used to return water from the turbines to the river. Apparently the plant had been kept in standby condition until fairly recently when it was decided that the combination of its generators requiring a complete overhaul from their designed 48 V 50 hz (used in another era of time) and the water it would take from more efficient generating facilities when Ontario is only allocated a certain percentage of the river flow per international agreement did not justify the rebuild so it was turned over to the Ontario Parks in a condition that made conversion to a tourist site very feasible.
We are both finding more energy to get re-involved with volunteer projects, church projects, and hobbies with Clarice baking and sewing up-a-storm while me joining my ham radio club in things like helping out with a Scout night hike event (helped out by other sort-of-God grand-daughter Ash who was a Godsend to me as the event ran into the early morning hours long after my AS endurance gave out as she practiced her ham radio skills and skittered about helping keep scouts from getting lost in the dark). I get stronger daily and we both look forward to my lifting and activity restrictions getting lifted so that we can get back to our Life’s Adventures!
